Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize