My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My bed smells like the plague
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
