At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
