Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize