There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
