whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
