Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
