nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
