Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
