he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
