How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
