Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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