He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
