I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My feet surprised me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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