if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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