The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
