You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
