guys are not supposed to queef...right?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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