My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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