Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
