I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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