If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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