everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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