you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish you could order shots online.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize