Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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