they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i think my cat just said my name.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
