good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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