yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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