you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
