He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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