I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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