I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
