North Korea, Best Korea!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
