You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I will be naked everywhere
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
my poor anus
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
