Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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