how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
