theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize