My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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