i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
