I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
