Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
