Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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