Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
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A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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