Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
