That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can't talk, ducks in the car
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
