Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
