if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
