Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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