all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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