youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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