RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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