it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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