why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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