my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize