Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
