What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
