so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
