And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
