So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
