You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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