So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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