sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize