On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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