do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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