STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
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I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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