I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
